Hello Reader,

I know I said I was not going to post until school, but I need to get something off my chest. After the surgery, I kept saying I am going to miss this up and coming football season, but I stopped and realized, that I can not put that energy out into the universe. It is not likely, that I play this year, but it is possible, and thats all I need to know. When you dont see the moutain top, you still must climb. Thats having faith, and thats what I am doing right now, I am having faith that even though I have had what looks like a setback, I have faith that my hardwork prior to this will get me on the team. Faith is working for things that are still unseen. I suprised myself by how calm I have stayed through this whole thing. When you in the mix of things, you really dont have time to think, you just do, even in the mix, I still can not complain. Every  obstcale, mistake, everything has led up until now. There is never a perfect time to be great, but I am about to do some amazing shit. I can only talk so much, my actions have shown I belive in my work, the moment of peace I had as they put me to sleep, someone was watching and they said O it is about to get good. Hold on, that is all I can tell you, if it is looking bad, if the people close to you do not see it, hold on. Just keep chipping away at your rock, it will pay off. Is it going to be hard to make the team YES, what makes it harder is I am still a bruised animal, but it is possible. That is all you have to say to to yourself is that it is possible. My battery is dying, I must go now, I leave you with this, If you are going to fight for it, go through hell for it, then why when the pain is to much, why stop. You have been through X,Y,Z. Might as well eat the cake, I mean hell you baked it.

Dear reader, surgery went fine, I am living that's enough for me. I will talk to you again once I get settled into to school.
Do not let your situation, determine your destination.

Good Morning Reader,

Its another day closer.

I could understand if you were reader this, you could get the impression that I think I am perfect, and have the world figured out. I hope I do not come off in this manner, but if I do, I understand how you could feel like that. I know I am not perfect, I do not even try to be. I try to be the best person that I can be. I do not have all the answers, none of us ever will. We can push and drive, and want for something so bad, and not achieve it. Its true. You, me, will ever truly know what the fuck we are talking about. Your beliefs are individualized to you specifically. So in saying that, I want us all to try to have a open view of the world. It is easy to get caught up in everyday life, and not see the beauty of the world around us. That is why I always say nothing is truly bad. If your alive to experience a down moment in your life, then I want you to understand that you are alive. There is nothing like living. Get away and just sit outside, by yourself. I try to be more attached to family, and friends, but sometimes I just like being alone. I think that why me and my brother are such goods friends, we both don't talk much. He is a great thinking buddy. The point I am trying to get at is that I want you to think. Just shut up and think. That's why I love being silent. If you would shut up and just watch the world around you, it would amaze you how much growth is around you. Call me crazy if you must, but have you ever just looked at a plant, have you noticed that it grows. No shit right, but look closer, do you notice how when is raining, and harsh storms, the vegetation grows back even bigger, and brighter. Apply that to your life, everyday you have to grow. Because if you did not, that was a wasted day of your life. Do not hold grudges, those people that get so annoyed, and just are up set, right now, this thing is annoying me. I think they think they are gonna live forever. Is that you? Are you still mad at what Chad, or Alexis did last week. This is life, the world moves, it literally never stops moving. You have to be the same way. You can never stop learning, forgiving, loving. I know my mission in life. I say that, with this, Yes, I am going to make it to the NFL Hall of Fame, but that is not my mission in life, that is apart of the picture. Yes I am going to pay of my parents student debt, but that is not my mission, my mission which I think should be everyone's mission. Is to improve. Improve thyself, and what the world around you improve as well. My mission is to give at least one person the courage to give the doubters, the critics, the odds, the status quo, all of them, the middle finger as say forget it, I am going to chase my dream. I want some to tell me before I die that they didn't stop fighting because I never did. That would make my life important, everyone is so focused on personal gain, rather than wanting your success to empower others to do the same thing.  Everyone wants a new, everyone wants a new house, but am I buying a house for my gain, or when making that decision am I going to think about the people looking up to me. If you do not inspire someone, and do not even have the desire to, I hope you die soon, because it is that type of thinking that has killed dreams of the young. When I get on the football team the first person I promised to call was my great grandmother Mamma Carrie, With this hernia popping up, it's a good possibility that I will not play this up coming year. She is old everyone, I am not counting her out, she told me that seeing me doing what I want in life will help her go on. I do not want to get this surgery because of the promise we have made to each other. I am battling time her. Of course there are other reasons why I want to be on the team. But some since of urgency comes from the time she has left. It help me in a way to stay on my toes, after the surgery, I am told to pretty much be on bed rest for a week. The doctor must not know that I am a busy body. So I will rest, but I will grow.
That's what I leave you with today, grow, grow into someone that other see inspiration from. If you are fat, out of shape, do not be ok with that. No one is inspired by that. But if you are ok with that. If you are ok with being average, then be my guest, lets just help move you along to your death. Those are your options really in life. Inspire or Expire.

Hello Reader,
So the surgery is next week, I am ready it. Not even nervous, just ready to get done with it. I have a feeling of emptiness. Not to depressed, but a feeling of becoming almost numb to things. I think that's what happens on the road to greatness, at some point bad things will happen. But if your so obsessed with a dream, a idea, a vision of your life, the setbacks start turning into trampolines. You start to understand that this is nothing more than you paying your dues. What is 6 weeks of discomfort to a life time goal achieved. That is how you have to look at something when you are experiencing hard times. Whether it maybe 6 week, 2 months, 4 years, it is nothing compared to your dream manifested. With that said, I understand that the hernia is nothing, it is not the end of the world. Not even close, I go to sleep for an hour and a half, then it is time to get back to work. I will be on bed rest for a week. But even then, I understand that this current situation is nothing more than temporary inconveniences. Time heals all, it is true, so if you bad times will be over, then why dwell on them while they last. When the universe test you, ask it for strength in your struggles and the ability to be humble in your success. That's what life is about, staying grounded no matter how successful you become, I want everyone to understand all successful people are just like me and you. I feel like some people can understand that, so I want to show you the growth of my life from 18 years old to when I put on that gold jacket. You have to believe there is something bigger for your life, if there isnt then why live. Why wake up in the morning if you don't believe there is more to life. For those who do understand that there is more to life, you have to be willing to die for your goals. What everyone needs to understand is that one day your going to die. That's not me being rude, it is the truth. So when you are on your death bed, what ideas and  dreams are going to die with you. The graveyard is the wealthiest place in America. If you are going to die, then why not give something all you have. You have nothing to lose, you are going to die. I leave you with this, Fail. Fail. Fail. it is the only way to grow and thus succeed. Nothing comes free, so when hard times arrive, just pay the piper and smile because you are a bit closer to your dream.
Thank you very much for your time.

Hello Reader, yes it is late. I am sorry, We have alot to talk about, I will tell you all tomorrow morning. Just to let you know, the surgery is next Tuesday at 8am. I will talk to you in the morning.

Good morning reader, I told you that I would make a commitment to you, and write everyday.
So you woke up this morning GOOD, that means it is one day closer to your dreams. So as I sent in my back yard, preparing for my morning yoga and pool work out, I always look at the hollywood hill from my backyard. Why? because seeing that makes me realizes everyday that it is possible, sometimes I drive out there to look at the big houses and the nice cars just so I can see that these are things that I can obtain. What people do not understand is that everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. The people that are at a high level in the world they are not cut from a different cloth, they just mastered consistence. So I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, I know what he is gonna telll me, and I am prepared for the worst, you have to see both good and bad things before they happen. It helps you take the blows. When things are going good, you cant get to happy, when bad things are happening, you cant get to sad. Look at Tom
Brady during a football game. If he scores he pumps his fist. and walks to the sideline. If he throws a interception, he pumps his fist in angry and walks to the sideline. Thats what you have to do in life, you can never be to happy or to sad. If you can master your emotions, you will go so much farther in life. I knew I had a hernia before I even walked into the doctors office, knowing this info helped me with the "bad news". Notice I put a quotes around bad news, that is because nothing is truly bad, it is all about how you think about it. I can look at this as o my god, this is heartbreak it is so sad. But who the hell am I to complain. Life will throw some bullshit your way and guess what? your gonna have to deal with it. Can I give up on my dream, Yes, would it be easy to say I will just work to pay of my student debts like most of americans, yes. The option to give up will always be there. But you have to ask yourself, if you give up can you live with yourself. After hurting my knee, I got to college and said my football days are over, I could not even look at myself in the mirror, I was being a punk. I was scared that everyone who eever said I couldnt comeback was right. I need you to learn this the easy way and not the hardway as did I. Think of what you want in life, if you could make your own life, how would it be. Ok, good, now go write it down somewhere, all of my gaols and dreams are in my notes on my phone, I add to them ever so often when I see something or am told that I cant do something. What you need to understand is that YOUR DREAM is just that YOUR DREAM, it was not given to your mom, dad, brother, girlfriend, boyfriend, who ever it maybe, it was not given to them. The universe gave you the thought that becoming the next Bill Gates is possible, whatever it may be. It is your dream, and you have to love it, you have to care for it, it is your child, your baby. So when I say I am going to make it to the NFL Hall of Fame, of course there are people who think other wise. And there is always the question of well "what if" it dose not happen, well what if it does. You have to believe it. Not anyone else, just you. My father and I were watching tv, I said I wonder if I learned to high jump, how high could I jump, he said jumping isnt your thing, I put that on my list of wrong things that have been said to me, I also put on my short term goal list for the summer to up my vertical. Trust me, I accomplished that, I came home, in good shape, but once I got to work with my Uncle he told me, that once I am ready I would be doing workouts with a 40 pound weight vest on, thinking I am big shit, I tried it our first work out, I couldnt even pick myself up, a week before going to the doctor, I did a whole workout, no break with that weighted vest on. When on your journey you must not seek to see the big picture manifested, but rather the progress of your daily work. Because life is not decided on one day where you wake up and if you do good today boom your dreams and everything is true. No, I worked out 6 days a week with my uncle, and everything we did, were in sets of 100, Why? because thats a big fucking number, and if you have big dreams then you are going to have to push yourself past what you think your body can handle. Everyday when doing 100, it hit a wall where I had to ask myself is it worth it, is it even possible, then I thought of people like Robert Woods, Dion Bailey, and I would say to myself, it is possible because we both have the same 24 hours in a day.So like I said, I have a pool workout, I probaly wont stop until  I am about to drown. Life is easy, all you have to do is work hard. Thats funny. But serouisly, everyone wants a fast way to get rich, they want a fast way to get buff, or fast, or skinny. I hate that shit. Sorry for my launge but What the fuck. What happened to just good old hard work. You know I have a theory, it called the Chip-a-away theory. Imagine your dream is a rock, and everyday you have to chip at it, you chip when you feel great, you chip when you are sick, you chip when you are sad,m when you are hungry, you have to keep chipping, because one day you wont be able to chip anymore, then you will stand back tired, worn down, and you will look at what you have made. You literally control your life, your not where you are because someone did you wrong, you are here because of you chipping habits. So today I will kill myself in this ppol, then do my school work, then yoga, then my day goes from there. Also I need you to understand that you need an outlet, wheter it be weed, cartoons, or just sitting outside, you need something that helps your mind wander, you need to spend more time alone than with other people. Why? because who is gonna be in the casket with you? That's why. You have to create yourself, down to what you wear, to the girls you like, to the people you habg out with. I have cut off some very very close people in my life because I felt that they were not taking the right steps to better themselves. Birds of a feather flock together, I will sit all alone than hang out woth someone who is headed down the wrong path, because the energy you put out into the universe, thats what you will get. You can not let negative energy leave your mouth. Keep it in your mind, when someone ask how are you doing just say, "I cant complain" that shows the universe no matter how bad or good thigns are at that moment that you understand the reasons behind it all. So yea, I am going to see a doctor tomorrow who is going to tell me that I need surgery, that recover will be painful and slow, big fucking deal, boo whoo, I look at this as a time to rebuild. The universe just wants to see if I really want this, mark my words, since I am staying positive threw this, the universe will open a door that I wasn't even expecting. I have to go and put in this work. I am sorry for the spelling errors today, but I am going to leave you with this, "Cry,cry as much as you can, get all of the pain and hurt, out of your body, everyday. There are things that you can not change, so cry, let it go. Let it go, and understand that you control your life every moment you are breathing. If you want something go get it, whether it be a girl, car, dream, anything you want make it yours.
Last but not least for my young readers, please understand that you control someone else life right now. I could give a damn if I lived in a roach motel apartment, as long a the child that I haven't had and my unwed wife are comfortable. Your a living a legacy, everyone is born they work they die, all it take is for one person to change everything. So fuck the club, hit these books, so when your son or daughter is born, they are worth 8 million coming into this world, that is success, successes is not cars, clothes, no that is rewards of success, successes to me is working my ass off so I can one inspire someone near me to do the same, then they inspire someone, then who they inspired inspires someone, now that cycle continues, and it happened all because of you, when you die how many people do you want at your funereal, because if it is less than a million people at mine,  then I did not touch enough people, therefore my life was a failure.
Work hard, Stay positive, and stay quiet.

So I choose to stay anonymous but this is my first post, from here on out, you the reader will take a journey into my life. This is the start, I am currently 18 years old, a college student, I have two jobs and my own car and license, life is cool, I cant complain. I grew up in Carson, CA and played football all my life. Had multiple scholarships leaving high school, but a season wrenching injury and bad grades killed all good going on in my life at the time. My first semester in college I did some dumb shit, got a tattoo, had sex with any girl walking, I am truly ashamed if my life, so starting 2014, I made major changes in my life, I have only had sex with one girl since the start of the new year, I raised my grades to a 3.2 GPA (NOT GOOD ENOUGH) a lot has changed. So now here we are, July 13, 2014. I am going to start off by saying hello reader, thank you for taking time out of your day to read my blog. Really, I don't expect anyone to read this, but I want to do it, so I can keep notes of my life and also inspire young kids. I want them to read this and understand that I sat in class such as them, I cheated on the vocab as they did. I have had heartbreak, and disappointment in my life as well as they have.

So lets begin, first of, I am going to make it to the NFL HALL OF FAME. Far fetch huh? but you want to know whats crazy? Its fucking possible lol, I used to get nervous and almost cry when thinking of how hard it is gonna be, but then I realized that what I am chasing is also chasing me, so as long as I work hard, stay humble, smart, and silent in my intentions and effort, I will be fine. A side note, as I said earlier, I made alot of changes in my life, I starting reading alot in college, I read "The Prince" by Machiavelli and "The 50 Laws of Power" by Robert Greene these books shaped who I became as a person, my personality, my outlook on things, these books made me who I am, or at least work to become. For example,both said do not talk as much but rather shut up and watch EVERYTHING!! So I went from a person that was known as outgoing to everyone now saying I am quiet. Ok, so a few days ago I was told that I have a hernia and will miss my Soph. year of football, that's 2 years of ball that I will never get back, now I have 2 years, 3 years max to show NFL scouts I have what it takes. It is no help that I am at a small school. But hey, I will say this alot, I know the end of my story, I know I will be successful, it just a matte4r of being able to deal with all the punches life throws at me. So with that recent news, I had to take a step back and reevaluate everything in my life. After my first semester in college, I understood my mission in life, and understood how football can help me open many doors to accomplish many other dreams. My senior year in high school, I tore up my knee and had to get surgery, I was told I would now be slow, would never be the same player, and I believed it all at the time. I went into a deep depression, I was snorting coke, doing Molly's, taking acid, anything that could help me escape my reality. I became very close with my brother during this time, as he kinda took me under his wing. He let me hang it with his friends who have now become mine, I was lonely during this time in my life, I would work out during lunch time, I would run routes on the field, while everyone else ate, once I started get attention from big names schools such as UCLA, USC, both of which I dreamed of going to as a child, when the coaches started calling me, asking if I had time to talk, giving me tours around the school, I say bright lights, and I wanted my name in those lights, nothing was gonna stop me. 2 weeks before my first game as a senior, I was the man, I was literally the face the city my school was in. Well, I heard my knee pop as I was walking at practice, and fell to the ground, just the thought makes me shake my head, but it was for the best. I over worked myself and fucked up my knee, I am a 17 year child at the time, I had the girl I wanted, at school, and another fine girl when I went home, everything was going great, but my knee popped, and my life has never been the same since, after I got hurt, both females were done with me, I just lost hope in life. I would get my lunch and go find a corner of shade in the back of the school and eat alone, I had no one to talk to. But I had drugs, they were easy to find. I once took a zanex bar and pasted put in history class. I told you, I did a bunch of dumb shit. But back to topic, the hernia, it has been going on since I hurt my knee but never really thought much of it until I went to see a doctor. So now a few weeks from tryouts, I get news that I cant play for about 6 weeks, so now I am going to miss tryouts, thus missing this up and coming season. I was bummed, at first I felt as if I was wasting my time, but I always say, Stay positive, consistent, and persistent. So I am looking at it ass the universe telling me to get my diet right, that is the only way to really stay in shape during the process of not being able to workout, so as of now I will be eating right to stay tight. well that is it for today, I will make a commitment to you my readers to write everyday.
Words of wisdom: Imagination and reality are very far apart, your goal in life should be to turn your imagination into your reality.
Remember everyday, is a step closer to your dreams or your doom, the choices you make today decide that for you.